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By TJ Philpott
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The first and primary objective of any blogging site is to develop loyalty with the people who land on the site,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]! This can only be done over time since blog visitors need to determine for themselves whether what you offer will be of interest and value to them,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]! Make no mistake their first few visits are merely a 'trial' run for you therefore it is up to you to repeatedly prove that you can and will deliver,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]! The thought that people will become instantly 'addicted' to your site allowing you to begin earning an income is an unrealistic one!
You Can Do It All Yourself
Instant Gratification
The key to blog marketing is your site must first become a successful blog before you can expect to start earning an income. What that is meant to say is blog visitors show up at your site to view the content and not to be sold,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Many people today are have started blogging for the sake of earning so its important they understand what to expect,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]!
Consistency Doesn't Matter
Effective blogging is not a whimsical practice! The consistency we're referring to here is the activity in terms of blog posting on your site and your adherence to the topic! People want to know what to expect and consistent patterns indicate a validation of sorts as to your reliability! Subliminally this touches upon 'trust issues' which are key to earning their loyalty and of course their business! Consistency is one of the most important characteristics any successful blog can display! In this way it is no different than when developing interpersonal relationships with others,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], people need to know where both you and they stand!
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Many people get involved with blog marketing assuming that it won't take much time or effort to start earning an income! It is beliefs like this that actually keep many from establishing a successful blog in the first place since these expectations are unrealistic! Everything revolves around your ability to first win the loyalty of blog visitors and nothing but time and your effort can achieve this! Loyalty needs to be established before you can expect visitors to make purchases on your site. As we discussed above visitors come to see the content you have to offer and not to be sold. By maintaining patience,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a constant level of effort and a willingness to reach out to others you too can be earning an income blogging! Simply give it the time needed and keep your expectations realistic!
Most everybody has that independent streak within them and bloggers possibly more so due to the nature of blogging. Thinking you can do it 'all' especially over the long haul is another unrealistic notion! Fact is if your own efforts are a 'finite' source which needs and must be fortified by outside sources over the long term. Networking in terms of posting updates,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], traffic generation and even product offers works more efficiently through the efforts of many! Don't be afraid to reach out and enlist the help of others as they no doubt will do with you as well. Developing your own successful blog is NOT something you have to do on your own! Remember a network saves legwork which means working smarter and not harder!
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Your results in life are largely determined by the questions you ask yourself everyday.
Please pick one before proceeding.
Second,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], asking questions causes your awareness to expand and become open to greater possibilities. Feel the difference between the statement “Jenny will never go to the dance with me,” and the question “I wonder how I can get Jenny to go to the dance?” The statement creates negative feelings of anguish and pain. It keeps you closed and stuck. Even a positive statement, maybe an affirmation like “Jenny and I will go to the dance--Jenny and I will go to the dance--Jenny and I will go to the dance. Etc.”, can feel forced and doesn’t provide any insight into what to do next. The question, on the other hand, creates the space for new possibilities and accesses your greater talents and intuition to produce a superior outcome.
I wonder what I should do next that will bring me great joy?
Ask this expansive question and notice the difference between how it makes you feel and the ideas you generate versus “I don’t have enough money.” Or “I need more money.” When you openly wonder, you increase your energy, ideas, and satisfaction. I picked this question up from a great little book by Gay Hendricks called The Ten Second Miracle. It’s out of print but you should be able to pick up a copy at Amazon.
Gay Hendricks taught me this one too,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Use it with a deep breath and you’re sure to get a new and better perspective on whatever activity you’re engaged in.
I think I have made more strides towards enlightenment with this single question than I have with all of my other spiritual practices combined. What we focus on increases and asking a question doesn’t put any limitations on the response. Just waking up and asking this question every day created a miraculous number of transformation and transcendent experiences in my life. I want to thank Deepak Chopra for sharing this great question with me. If you haven’t read it, I highly recommend his book How to Know God which does an amazing job of explaining how are relationship to God/Source/Spirit changes as the questions we ask change.
And while I pick up incredible nuggets of learning, wisdom and tools along the way, I also realize that it’s not the answers I receive but the questions themselves that provide the greatest benefit to my life. Imagine that. It’s not the answers but the questions!
Why are questions so powerful? Most of us tend to accept answers to life’s challenges and mysteries (with a little searching and questioning mixed in) from an array of “expert” sources including parents, teachers,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], authors,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], doctors, gurus, consultants, family, friends, philosophies and religions of all kinds.
Instead, it’s the questions you ask yourself.
I wonder what my body really needs right now?
Life is ultimately about contributing to others. This beautiful question pulls you out of your ego and asks you to consider a larger and ultimately more rewarding picture. Another one from Deepak Chopra.
It might be some words or even instructions; it might be a positive emotion, a physical feeling, a hunch, or new insight. If you don’t notice a response,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], comment below and I’ll talk you through it.
Next, sincerely and with a sense of genuine wonderment, ask yourself this question but this time, wait and listen for a few moments for an inner response.
Imagine the consistent improvement and transformation you will experience when you ask yourself this question everyday? I picked this question up from Rinaldo Bruttoco of the World Business Academy. He’s one of those rare people that has accomplished five life-time’s worth of experiences in this life so far.
Ten Questions that will Transform Your Life
Here’s a list of the Ten Questions with my notes on how and when I’ve used them. They’re all awesome questions that produce incredible results.
Sound crazy? Try this exercise and see…
Great. Now take a deep breath. Exhale. Let go.
Indecision and apathy are the two great energy saps. If you’ve ever been caught in the “should I or shouldn’t I?” trap then you know what I mean. For example, “Should I stay in my current job or accept this new offer?” “Should I marry Jim or date around?” “Should I move to New York or stay here in Wisconsin?” These are all classic indecision traps and can weigh heavily on your psyche. The result can be sleepless nights, wasted time, and the fear of making a bad decision. When you know your personal mission, then you can ask this question and gain clarity on which direction you should take.
I wonder how I can be more _________ today?
To gain clarity on your life's mission and purpose, take the free interactive email course 7 Days to Align Your Life for Success Author's Bio:
Third, the answer to every problem lies inside of you and the process of asking questions challenges you to be more independent and skilled at finding and making the right decisions for yourself. When you ask the right questions, you train yourself to overcome different kinds of problems in the future. And when you achieve your desired outcome, you have the inner wisdom to ask even grander questions, thereby raising your attention level to create greater and greater levels of success and transformation in your life.
I wonder how I can best serve today?
I picked this one up from a Ganga White the co-founder of the White Lotus Foundation. It’s a great one to use in front of the refrigerator. When I first started to practice it, I wasn’t able to get a clear response. But over time, my physical body has become a great and finely tuned instrument. I have a much better sense of which foods serve me and which do not.
By Lex Sisney
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Have you picked a question?
First, forming a question causes you to focus your attention on an outcome. “I wonder how I can get Jenny to go to the dance with me?” or “How am I going to pay the bills this month?” or “What is the nature of space and time?” Depending on who’s asking the question, your attention is on Jenny, the bills, or the nature of space and time. That’s obvious. But what might be less obvious is that YOU GET WHAT YOU FOCUS YOUR CONSISTENT ATTENTION ON. By asking questions, you naturally place your attention on your desired outcome. And just like Einstein, if you ask yourself consistently enough “What is the nature of space and time?” you’ll eventually get a solution.
What did you experience?
I wonder how I can best fulfill my mission?
By nature, I tend to be list oriented and highly focused. However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], I’ve found that when I hit a snag in my day – physical, mental, or emotional – rather than continuing to press on with my current task, instead if I step back and ask myself “What will bring me more joy right now?” and follow that, then at the end of the day I end up getting more done and having a better time too. By “following my bliss”, the original snag often clears itself or I come back to it later with renewed perspective and energy.
I wonder how I can have more fun doing what I’m doing right now,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
I wonder how I can easily have all the money I need for everything I want right now?
I wonder how I am contributing to this situation?
So I’ll use this statement by its key words as in “I wonder how I can be more compassionate today” and wait for a response.
In my own quest for answers, I’ve dived into more “expert” sources than I care to count.
I want to share with you a radical idea.
“One who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; one who does not ask a question remains a fool forever.”
This is a great method to use with your authentic profile statement. I use it to go through my statement word by word. It takes just a minute or two and it almost always gives me great insight into a blocked area of my life,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
For example, my authentic profile statement reads: “I use my talents of coaching, conceptualizing, and communicating to help others experience more wisdom , love, and efficiency so that we all wake up to the truth of who we are. I am true to my core values of joy, wisdom, and compassion .”
– Chinese Proverb
I’ve come to realize that life is lived inside-out. My inner beliefs, thoughts, and feelings create my reality. As much as I might like to point fingers or cast blame at someone or something, with coaching I realize that it always comes back to me. When I ask this question, I eventually gain some great self-discovery.
I wonder how I can have all the money I need for everything I want right now?
I wonder how I can be closer to God?
I wonder how I can have more fun doing what I’m doing right now?
I wonder what my body really needs right now? I wonder how can I improve myself today? I wonder how I can best serve today?
I wonder how I am contributing to this situation?
I wonder how I can be more creative today? I wonder what I should do next that will bring me great joy?
I wonder how I can best fulfill my mission?
How can I improve myself today?
Here’s why. When you ask yourself a question, especially the right question, some really incredible things start to happen.
How to Ask a Question
Here are a few tips on how to ask the right inner questions:
Outcome. Focus on the positive outcome you desire and craft a question to capture its essence. For example, if you desire more success in your career, you might create internal questions like “I wonder how I can be a better leader today?” or “I wonder how I can improve my salesmanship today?”
Wonder. Ask your question sincerely and with a genuine state of wonder. Wonderment takes your conscious mind out of the equation. It tells your subconscious that you are genuinely interested in a response, you’re not tied to a particular outcome, and you want to access your deeper resources of insight, intuition,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and creativity.
Wait. Wait for a response. Don’t just run through the motions. Ask a sincere question and wait for a response. With a little practice,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], your inner responses will be nearly instantaneous.
Coaching. Get coaching. A trained coach is excellent at helping you to ask yourself the right questions and they provide the support for you to be consistent with changing life conditions. I can’t speak highly enough about coaching. If you haven’t been coached yet, try it and see.

It’s not your IQ, EQ, Rolodex, or even your experience that determines your success and happiness in work, relationships, money,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and life.
I wonder how I can be closer to God,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
Pick one question from the list of ten below. Which question jumps out at you as the one you would most want to answer in your life if you could? If more than one strongly resonates, that’s fine, but pick one that would feel really great to resolve right now.
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Promoting affiliate products off an internet marketing blog allows for the site administrator to focus on creating content. Not having to invest time or money into developing products is huge but affiliate product selection, placement and blog posting need to be consistent and relevant as discussed above. By offering the appropriate products within content that is both relevant and interesting, a person can make a good living with an internet marketing blog using this strategy!
Keep Text Links Relevant
Content Relevancy
For starters never lose sight of the topic you chose to base your internet marketing blog on because this content is what people come to see,hollister! If your blog posting shifts in direction you risk losing readers and if you intend to earn an income these are the people you will be targeting with your promotion! The rule on all blogs is that the reader comes first and this is very true but especially if you depend upon these readers to also be paying customers! Stay on topic and be sure the content you post is relevant,hollister uk!
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Wherever you place a product link be sure it offers something relevant to the immediate context in which it's placed! What you post typically will take slight twists and turns when making a point so be sure your product selection is appropriate for where you choose to place it! By doing this your own post can more effectively help you promote whatever it may be you are offering! On the other hand if you place an offer,hollister, or link,louboutin, in a sentence or paragraph where there is little relevance,hogan, readers will be 'blindsided' and tend to completely dismiss the offer!
By TJ Philpott
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Here are 3 areas a blogger must focus on concerning their affiliate product selection,louboutin pas cher, placement and blog posting to make the most of this opportunity!
Promoting affiliate products off an internet marketing blog offers many advantages provided certain consistencies are maintained! For starters attention must be paid to the product selection and placement to get the best results. In addition your blog posting must not be allowed to slacken or veer off target since ultimately this is what people are really coming to see when they land on your site!
Careful What You Offer
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Do individuals have the right skills and confidence to succeed?
Is the communication relevant,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], regular and responsive?
So are your teams’ goals clear,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
3. They handle constructive conflict
Do the incentives promote the right behaviours?
b. Internal relationships are invested in
b,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. They take ownership of their deliverables
a. There is a collective vision and they have one ultimate purpose
a. They debate differences openly
4. There is individual and collective accountability for results
a,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The whole team knows what is going on
b. Once decided,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they support the decision
a,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. They have a passion for success
Teams succeed when…
Do the systems and processes in place make it easy,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?
However I’d like to share my views on how teams succeed…
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2. The team has shared goals that they are committed to
5. The team result means more than individual success…and they deliver results…consistently
b. They deploy resources to the best opportunity
Do individuals know what is expected of them?
a. They all have clear objectives and deliverables
1. The team members support each other
The stages of Team Development such as Forming, Storming,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Norming and Performing is widely written and discussed – so I don’t intend to cover here.
b. The team is cared for and their reputation is created by themselves
c. They worked together on major issues,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], concerns or changes
d,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. They bring their own individual strengths ‘to the table’
c. They are rewarded for the success of the whole team
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• Shower head – Convert your shower head to a low-flow model; prices range from $10.00 to $50.00. This change will reduce the amount of water you use without impeding performance. Smart tip: A bath uses more water than a short shower.
• Faucet – Get a low flow faucet aerator, they’re easy to install and can be purchased for $3.00 to $10.00. The device mixes air with water to reduce the amount of water used. Look for one that is rated 2.75 gpm (gallons per minute) or less.
5. Lighting – Whether you update your lighting fixture or keep the one you’ve got, be sure to switch to energy efficient bulbs. FYI, according to energystar.gov, “If every American home replaced just one light bulb with an ENERGY STAR qualified bulb,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], we would save enough energy to light more than 3 million homes for a year, more than $600 million in annual energy costs, and prevent greenhouse gases equivalent to the emissions of more than 800,000 cars.”
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6. Flooring – If your bathroom floor has stains, tears or worn vinyl, fix it now.
If your bathroom is cluttered with several family members cosmetics,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], half filled bottles, and grooming tools—it’s time to clear it out, clean it up and convert it to a space that is fresh, green and rejuvenating!
4. Water Hogging Devices – Nearly 60% of indoor home water usage takes place in the bathroom. Here are some things you can do to curb your consumption and save a few dollars.
1. Ceiling – While you might not spend much time looking at your ceiling, don’t pass it over.
First, empty the room and edit all of your belongings. That means you’ll need to sort like things together and let go of duplicates, products no one uses,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and expired medicines and make-up. For a detailed description of how to eliminate clutter, please see the DeCluttering Blueprint: Step 3.
Follow the foregoing tips and you’ll find a clutter free, serene bath with energy saving devices doesn’t have to be a dream.
2. Walls – One of the most dramatic yet budget friendly changes you can make to your space is to freshen up the walls.
• Vanity – A spacious vanity is a real plus. You can tuck away each family member’s toiletries in a handy organizer,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], store clean towels—and no one will be the wiser. Smart tip: Converting an antique dresser into a vanity is a smart way to go green. If it’s not in the cards for you to purchase a new vanity, splash a fresh coat of paint on your existing vanity and add new hardware for an updated appearance.
• Medicine – Medicine cabinets are the ideal space to corral unexpired medications and remedies for: headaches, cuts, burns, coughs, colds, etc. Modern medicine cabinets are not only functional they’re almost wall art. They are available in a variety of styles and shapes and you can even get one with fog proof mirrors. If you want to use your existing medicine cabinet and it has a wooden or laminate door, update it by painting it with the same soothing color you use on the walls.
7. Organizers and Accessories – Keeping your bathroom clean, clutter free and organized will be easier if you use some of the gadgets below.
By Pam N. Woods, CPO®
See all Articles by Pam WoodsSee Pam Woods&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Expert PageGet Updates on Organizing and Learning How to OrganizeGet Updates on Pam Woods Average: 0 Your rating: None Tweet Related articles:

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Now that you know whether you would be considered a socially disadvantaged individual, you must figure out if you can also classify as an economically disadvantaged individual. This is where the difference between SDB certification and 8 (a) business certification comes into play. Small business owners can qualify for SDB certification if their personal assets are worth less than $750,000. If a small business owner’s personal assets do not exceed $250,000,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he or she can qualify for the 8 (a) business development program. Please note: The SBA does not consider home equity as a personal asset. If a business is classified as an 8 (a) business, it is automatically SDB certified. However, all SDB businesses are not 8 (a) businesses due to the personal asset qualifier.
By J,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Mariah Brown
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There are two great assistance programs available to small business owners through the U.S. Small Business Administration (SBA) that could help give your business the boost it needs during tough economic times. The assistance programs,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the small disadvantaged business (SDB) certification program and the 8 (a) business development program, can be an asset to any type of business, regardless of length of operation. In addition to increased funding and training, becoming classified as an SDB or 8 (a) business can substantially increase your chances of receiving government grants or federal and state contracts.
In order to be considered socially disadvantaged, the owner must “have been subjected to racial or ethnic prejudice or cultural bias because of their identity as a member of a group,” according to the SBA. Typically small business owners who are Hispanic, Native American, Asian or African American meet this requirement. There is also a broad statement saying that “other individuals can qualify if they show by a preponderance of the evidence that they are disadvantaged.” Due to this rather ambiguous language,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], many women small business owners can be considered socially disadvantaged as well if they can prove that they have been a victim of long-term gender-based discrimination. For example, if a woman faced discrimination from professors and administrators at a military college due to the fact that she went to a predominately male school,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she could claim that the discrimination hindered her ability to form a business later in life. Women who have previously filed sex discrimination cases are more likely to be able to qualify as socially disadvantaged. Contrary to popular belief, White males are also not excluded from the “socially disadvantaged” group. If a White male has a disability or is handicapped in any way,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there is a possibility he could qualify as socially disadvantaged. Those suffering from mental health issues, such as depression,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or those who may feel as though they are socially disadvantaged due to religious preference could qualify,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but must prove that they were discriminated against solely for those reasons.
The first step in becoming certified is to understand what a small business is,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and then you must know the difference between each certification/classification. According to the SBA, a small business is defined as an independent business having fewer than 500 employees, although the definition used for government programs and contracting varies by industry. If you qualify as a small business, in order to receive SDB or 8 (a) certification,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the owner of the business must be economically and socially disadvantaged. However, the key difference between the two classifications is the owner’s personal net worth (I’ll talk about this more later).
If you believe you qualify for either the SDB or 8 (a) SBA programs—or both—do not hesitate to apply to the programs. For more information, visit [link widoczny dla zalogowanych]
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The Canadian automotive industry is experiencing a shortage of qualified workers. If you love cars and are interested in automotive careers, here are ten auto careers to consider.

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When a no-nonsense type of person supervises a relationship type person,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], there is the potential for conflict. The get-the-job-done supervisor will get more work accomplished from the relationship type person if the supervisor allows for freedom to interact with others. By actively listening to the employee’s concerns,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the get-the-job-done supervisor will obtain greater productivity and respect.
Dealing with conflict is a frequent concern for many organizations,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Managers and supervisors have to deal with conflict on a daily basis. Many times conflict happens when people see situations differently,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. Often the potential conflict can be defused by understanding the other person’s point of view.
For example,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], some people are the no-nonsense,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], get-the-job-done type. To them, the most important thing is the task. They like to take decisive action and take pride in a job well done.
Other people are more focused on people relationships,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. They see work more from a team viewpoint. They want people to get along with one another and support each other.
Can you imagine what kind of conflict a get-the-job-done supervisor would get into with a think-about-the-details type person if the supervisor didn’t respond appropriately to their style? The get-the-job-done supervisor probably may have greater success with the enthusiastic adaptive type person. The enthusiastic adaptive type person tends to react immediately and adapt to different work experiences as long as they are interesting and motivational. By understanding the other person’s point of view,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], managers and supervisors will have a more productive work environment.
The other two styles are the think-about-the-details type person and the enthusiastic adaptive type person. The think-about-the-details type person likes to think things through and dislikes being rushed to get something done. After all,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], they want to do a quality job. The think-about-the-details type person also prefers to do work in a step-by-step way.
Much has been written on different personality or behavioral styles,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. A very positive way to deal with conflicts is to gain an understanding of the four different behavioral styles,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
By Jeffrey W. Drake, Ph.D.
See all Articles by Melanie DrakeSee Melanie Drake&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Expert PageGet Updates on Communication Skills and TrainingGet Updates on Melanie Drake Average: 3 Your rating: None Average: 3 (2 votes) Tweet
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The Canadian automotive industry is experiencing a shortage of qualified workers. If you love cars and are interested in automotive careers, here are ten auto careers to consider.

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The default ratio on credit card payments will continue to grow until the third quarter of next year,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and most Korean credit card firms will be mired in mushrooming deficit next year,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], President Lee Kyung-woo of Samsung Card said Wednesday.
Speaking to reporters the same day,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Lee said that government officials and financial market analysts have been estimating that the credit card default ratio would reach its peak in the first quarter next year,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but he believed that the ratio upsurge would linger well into the third quarter of next year,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], judging by the declining economy and increasing household debts.
The Samsung Card president noted that a credit card company would not be able to realize any profit if the default ratio approaches 10 percent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. He pointed out that several credit card subsidiaries of banks have already seen the default ratio surge past 10 percent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Lee also predicted that the nation's credit card market next year could undergo a heavy plunge in its growth rate to about 10 percent,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], from the steep growth of 60 to 70 percent each year since the 1997 financial crisis.
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Kim said that the idea was embraced enthusiastically by other friends and by an inauguration ceremony, they had accumulated more than W1 million. Kim said the money will be sent every year to an international organization to help children in need.

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Kia Motors on Wednesday released an artist's impression of its new Pride subcompact (codename UB),[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], which is slated to be launched in September following its official debut at the International Motor Show in Geneva in March.
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Kim said that the idea was embraced enthusiastically by other friends and by an inauguration ceremony, they had accumulated more than W1 million. Kim said the money will be sent every year to an international organization to help children in need.

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If your spouse parents differently than you do, talk about that openly—hopefully before you get married. Often people fall in love and don’t face those kinds of issues. They think it will all work out on its own—but the truth is, things usually don’t work out unless the people working them out have the skills to make that happen. Even if you are already married, I suggest you sit down and start talking about the parenting issues that are important to you today.
Remember, the key to finding harmony in a blended family is communication and maturity on the part of the parents. One important thing to realize is that the kids may never blend the way you want them to,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or they may blend wonderfully. Again, the people who really have to blend are the parents. And blending as adults means seeing your spouse as a partner, not as an obstacle.
How to Get on the Same Page with Your Spouse
Recognize the Importance of the Birth Parent
Now both of these people have a legitimate perspective. The challenge is for them to come up with some kind of compromise. You do this by figuring out what you’re trying to accomplish or avoid. Once you do that—and can come up with a compromise instead of arguing or labeling the other person—you’re really communicating. Remember, basing decisions on what you’re trying to accomplish is often much more effective than basing them on “the way things were on when you were a kid.”
If your spouse isn’t parenting your child the way you think they should be, you need to be able to communicate with them about that and work things out. If there’s a disagreement, the birth parent’s decision takes primacy and the stepparent has to be mature enough and trusting enough in the relationship to go along with it, without a lot of pouting and self-pity.
It’s very important to establish the importance of the birth parent. This means that the birth parent is the primary parent. Think of it this way: marriages break up sometimes, but the birth parent-birth child relationship is never going to dissolve. Because of the birth parent-child connection,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the birth parent should be the decision maker of last resort for their biological child, as long as the decision around that child protects the emotional and physical safety of everyone else in the family. What that means is that when we have conflicts, the birth parent will make the final decision, but that doesn’t mean the child should be abusive or hurtful.
That way when your stepchild is saying,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], “You’re not my father,” the answer is “You’re right, I’m not. But these are the expectations that your mother and I have, and if you don’t follow through you will be held accountable.” It allows you to avoid getting into those kinds of power struggles with your stepchild.
The rule has to be, “Whatever agreement we come up with, we have to present a united front on it. And if we disagree, the birth parent should have the right to say, "This is my choice, this is my decision.” And in fact, the common theme in the family should be that Mom and Dad talk things out, that they look into things and work things out together.
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By James Lehman
See all Articles by James LehmanSee James Lehman's Expert PageGet Updates on Blended FamiliesGet Updates on James Lehman Average: 3 Your rating: None Average: 3 (3 votes) Tweet
The key is to be adult and understanding of each other. For example, it’s not uncommon for Democrats and Republicans to be happily married to one another. In the same way, if you’re in a blended family situation, you have to find a way to live with your partner by respecting the other person’s point of view when it comes to decisions about how to raise the kids in the family, too.
I can’t stress this enough: the foundation for blended families rests on the principles of communication and cooperation between both adults. Compromise is the name of the game. And adults have to communicate, communicate,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], communicate. In a blended family, there is an absolute necessity for both adults to be on the same page. These two adults, when they decide to get together and marry,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], have to make a decision that they’re going to communicate about things in private, away from the kids.
Don’t Throw Labels Around

Let’s say there’s a dispute over the amount of time the kids in the family are spending on video games. You want to limit their game time, but your spouse thinks the kids should be allowed to play as much as they want. It doesn’t help when one adult says to the other, “You’re too soft on them,” or “You’re too rigid.” Again,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that’s just labeling the other person. Instead, you need to sit down and ask investigative questions like, “What are you trying to accomplish by letting the kids play video games without putting a time limit on them?” So the question becomes, “What is your goal here?” And your spouse might respond, “I want them to feel like home is a place where they can relax and do the things they enjoy as much as they want, as long as they take care of their responsibilities.” And they should be asking you, “What are you trying to accomplish by limiting the video game time?” You might say, “I want them to have some structure in their lives. I think video games have their place, but they should not be our kids’ main source of entertainment. I’m worried that if we let them play as much as they want, it’ll become a cop-out and they’ll play video games instead of doing other things.”
I believe that blending two families is the most perplexing and difficult job two adults can take on,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. There are no quick answers or easy solutions. But there are some guidelines and suggestions I can give you to help you think about the scope and nature of some of the common problems that surface within your family—and how to solve them.
Before You Get Married: Establish Roles and Resolve the Conflicts You Can Resolve
Communicate Constantly and Present a United Front
Labels are one of the biggest roadblocks to communication, because once you start labeling somebody, communication is over—you’ve effectively cut it off. If one parent labels the other as being too soft, or too hardline, those labels interfere with solving the problem. And by the way,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], that’s why people do label. Genuine communication is very difficult emotionally, and if both people aren’t on the same page, they often avoid it. How do they avoid it? By arguing, fighting, blaming, and labeling.
But don’t kid yourself,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], although you may agree to things and work them out ahead of time, as stressors and different situations happen, realize that it’s common for both you and your spouse to react in ways you didn’t anticipate. This is because family dynamics change, kids change, circumstances outside the family change. To put it plainly, it’s impossible to plan for everything.
Believe me, I know that this advice is easy to read but difficult to do. Know that although a lot of emotional labor has to take place,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], the fruits of your efforts will translate into much more peace in your home.
We often jokingly say, “You don’t get a manual on how to parent kids.” But each adult in a blended family brings a set of ideas about parenting with them, in addition to their own prior experiences. This often makes for a very complex situation, and it’s one of the reasons why parents in a blended family can get stuck in some disappointing and frustrating cycles of behavior. Look at it this way: there are so many different points of view and aspects to this relationship that it can naturally be very confusing for everyone. The children also have different experiences and perceptions of the parent-child relationship—and because of the very fact that they are children, they will not surrender those ideas easily. Remember, the secret to having a blended family is having blended adults. The kids just have a responsibility to live with each other respectfully and to respect the other parent.
One type of conflict that occurs between parents in a blended family is having a difference of opinion about general parenting ideas.This might include when bedtime should be, how homework is done, and how much TV is allowed in the house. Many of these differences can be talked about and resolved before you get married.
I think the first question that has to be asked is “What does ‘blended’ mean,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]?” Does it mean everyone calls the woman “Mommy” and the man “Daddy?” Does blended mean each parent supports the other parent no matter what,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]? Or does blended mean that a couple comes to a series of decisions together about their expectations and thoughts regarding the development of children—and then they operationalize those ideas in how they treat their kids and what they expect from them?
“I don’t know what to do anymore,” said Jill, stepmother to two teen girls and mom to one biological son, aged 10. “My stepdaughters don’t respect me—I’m the ‘evil stepmother’ to them—and pretty much ignore whatever I say. And my son is constantly telling me that my husband isn’t fair, and that he treats him differently than he treats his two girls. Sometimes I get so exhausted by the whole thing I just want to get up and leave.”
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9. If that search doesn't succeed, follow Professor Smith's example and start your own firm.
10. Keep testing yourself in these ways to continually expand the "win-win-win-win" solutions you are engaged in.
4. Then, see if there are any common themes to these activities.
Author's Bio:
As much as he enjoyed classroom teaching,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], Professor Smith wanted to spend time one-on-one with students, counseling them about their careers as well as helping them with their courses. To that end, he applies the Oxford Tutorial Method online with mid-career graduate business students at Rushmore to help them learn and apply helpful theory.
6. Discuss with your boss how your work might be recast to be more productive and desirable for all concerned.
3. Identify from those notes the activities that were most significant in all four dimensions.
Instead, I encourage you to seek out ways to combine what's most constructive about work for you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], what brings you the most satisfaction, and what provides the most value to customers and to your organization. Think of that result as a "win-win-win-win."
Professor Smith finds that tutored students do better work,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], making this way of teaching especially rewarding. He also enjoys teaching students who are holding down full-time jobs in many different countries, gaining personally from learning about their unique perspectives on business.
The first "win" is building yourself up through doing something at work that's more constructive for you.
If your organization offers no potential wins for you in building your capabilities and gaining more satisfaction, look for an organization that subscribes to "win-win-win-win" solutions instead. Should you have no success in finding such an organization,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], take a good look at starting your own.
The third "win" is improving customer benefits.
Professor Smith was drawn to the field after many years of hiring executives for major companies through such searches. From these experiences, he realized that he could add more value to executive searches by personally conducting them. He first tested that idea by working for a well-regarded firm and liked the experience.
7. If your organization will let you make the shifts, that's wonderful!
How can you gain enjoyment and accomplish more in your business career? It's easy: Just search for more of what you like ... and then do more of what you find.
What are you waiting for?
So how can you apply these lessons to your career?
The second "win" is gaining more satisfaction from your work.
That last comment says it all,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych]. The "win-win-win-win" approach to a business career can make working much more desirable and valuable.
The fourth "win" is adding more value for your organization.
Here's a little background: Executive search is a tough grind for professionals who do the work. The field is famous for high turnover,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Not done searching for better work to do, he is now considering what else he might add to his busy work day after reaching a career milestone of completing 600 successful executive searches. In this investigation,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he says that only one thing is certain. He will keep working. He comments that "Working keeps you energized and young!"
8. If not, look for a different job in that organization or in another one where you can spend more time on the most desirable and valuable activities.
He next struck out on his own, establishing Smith, Scott & Associates. In doing so, he immediately began shifting what work he would do so that he would enjoy it more. For example, he wanted to spend more time on searches and do less administration. Preferring to work one-on-one with clients,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], he also began offering executive coaching and human resources consulting services.
2. At the end of the period,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], makes notes about the value of each thing you did in terms of personal development, satisfaction, value for others, and benefits for your organization and family.
Let me explain by starting with what I don't mean: I'm not suggesting that those who love to eat chocolate ice cream at work seek out jobs that involve hourly samplings of such frozen treats.
While many businesspeople advocate "win-win" solutions (where those with different interests seek and agree on options that increase benefits for both), such solutions are far from optimal. At work such solutions often leave customers and the organization better off while leaving the person providing the solution worse off.
In this practice, Professor Smith wanted to add value for candidates by helping them understand how to obtain a better job with less effort and frustration. To that end, he wrote a book,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], "Becoming a High-Impact Candidate," that has helped many executives.
Searching to do even more of what he enjoys, Professor Smith began teaching at DePaul University's Kellstadt Graduate School of Business and later added lecturing at the University of Colorado's College of Business. He also sought to add value for students. Drawing on his 35 years of business experience, he can help students apply what they learn, rather than just reading about theory, as many schools emphasize.
1. Keep a diary of what you do 24 hours a day, 7 days a week for two weeks.
You'll better understand my point if I share an example of someone who has sought "win-win-win-win" solutions to great effect, my faculty colleague at Rushmore University, Professor Gary Smith. Through his highly successful career in executive search, he has continually seen practical benefits flow from seeking better alternatives for individuals, organizations,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and their customers.
5. Consider how you might replace activities that are low in all four dimensions with more time spent on activities that are or could be high in the same dimensions.
By Donald W. Mitchell
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When it comes to the human body, the heart charka influences our ability to love unconditionally. When past trauma has affected our lives and we have been unable to process the feelings associated to old wounds, our Heart Charkas shut down.

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Last month,a British study, which inquiry more than 40,000 household, found that it’s the key to happiness of eating a family meal at least three time a week because it just like a bridge between you and your family to communication,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], exchang thought, share funny things,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and care of them.
Right?
All this time, it’s a objective of scientists and related searches that pursuit happiness. But what makes us really happy? And what can bring us the long-term benefits?
By Selina Cathie
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Studies have also suggested that happiness begins at 50. Research from Stony Brook University, New York, found that stress, anger and worry fade after your 50th. Women were also reported to suffer greater stress, worry and sadness whatsoever ages.
Happy feeling is from satisfied.a popular ging says that happiness lies in contentment,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].
Married couples are most likely to become happy with relationships, based on the study, which also discovered that the happiest relationships are the ones less than 5 years old between two university graduates who have no children.
However,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], happiness maybe already been determined when you born.2009 Manchester city university researchers have claimed by name can predict our personal life whether happiness or not. According to their research, named Judy and Joshua person lives most happiness,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but, Andrew and Edward is the most miserable names.
Well, at the beginning of this month,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych],scientists from the University of LLLinois found the people who are happy and positive about life live longer. The reasearchers found the clear and convince evidence that happiness is the key when it comes to better health and longer lifespans.
How's this for the good life? You are wealthy, and also you produced the dough yourself. You are properly to your 80s,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and also have spent hardly a day within the hospital. Your spouse were built with a cancer scare, but she's recovered and by your side,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], just like she's been in excess of 60 years. Asked to rate the wedding on the scale of just one to 9, where 1 is perfectly miserable and 9 is perfectly pleased, you circle the highest number. You have two very good youngsters, grandkids too. A survey asks you: "If you had your life to live over again,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], what problem, if any, would you have sought support for and to whom can you have gone?" "Probably I am fooling myself," you are writing, "but I do not feel I'd wish to change anything." If only we're able to take what you must have done, minimize it to some group of rules,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and put it on systematically.
Money helps make the world go round, but it is not the key to happiness, according to other studies. In 2008,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], a survey from the Office for National Statistics found that British families were healthier and twice as well off because they were 20 years ago, but are no happier. However, other research has found money can purchase you happiness after all,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], but only when you spend it wisely. Indeed, that might be why a good holiday can improve your happiness levels "for as much as two months" after - although the break needs to be "very relaxing" to possess this kind of effect.
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you might have to have a talk with him.

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When it comes to the human body, the heart charka influences our ability to love unconditionally. When past trauma has affected our lives and we have been unable to process the feelings associated to old wounds, our Heart Charkas shut down.

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In other words,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if you are the only one making sexual advances,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], if you feel as though it's a battle to get her interested or aroused, if she never takes the initiative to make the right time and place for sex to occur, if she's not interested in exploring new positions or locations, if she's never interested in round 2 or 3,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], or if she never initiates spur of the moment sex,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then she's probably not sexually attracted to you.
Don't fall for her excuses. The specific ones: This isn't the right time; I don't feel well; not here, someone might come by; that hurts me; I just took a shower; we don't have time. Or the general ones: I'm still suffering from a bad relationship and need time; I have a lot of important things on my mind; I'm overweight and self-conscious about my body.
Oh,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], she likes you fine,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and you are convenient to her at this time in her life. You provide security,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], you are safe, or for any of a thousand reasons she is with you, but she's not sexually interested in you. And that makes your hold on her very weak. When you are no longer convenient to her, or she meets someone who does turn her on, you have no further hold on her and she's gone.
By T,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych].K. Knudsen
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This situation is bad for you not only because of your frustration, but because of your self-esteem. Constantly being told by someone's actions that you are not sexy is not good for your self-image.
Author&#039,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych];s Bio:
If a single woman is not as sexually interested in you for romance as you are in her,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then your relationship has a basic weakness that may be an insolvable problem.
These are just that, excuses. She may actually believe them but don't you fall for them. If she was really sexually attracted to you,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], then there would be no need for excuses. Things aren't going to get better. There will always be an excuse.
So when there is no sexual magic, start looking for her replacement. Don't dump her until you've found one because your search is easier when you have a girl - but start looking today.
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When it comes to the human body, the heart charka influences our ability to love unconditionally. When past trauma has affected our lives and we have been unable to process the feelings associated to old wounds, our Heart Charkas shut down.